I promised myself I'd use this to title my blog post when Dan got a job :) It's a line from an Irish jig that Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band sing at all of their concerts:
"There's diamonds in the sidewalk, the gutter's lined in song.
Dear I hear the beer flows from the faucets all night long!
There's treasure for the taking, for any hard working man
who'll make his home in the American land!"
Before I left for vacation, Dan had an interview at a small (30-ish employees) furniture making company in Grand Rapids. When he submitted his resume, he was really hoping he'd get an interview. I remember getting a call at work saying that he had! He dressed nice in his suit and made a great first impression. The interview lasted about an hour and twenty minutes - a promising sign. They said they'd call him, probably the next week, if they wanted him to come in for a second round of interviews.
...And so we waited...
I left for North Carolina and he'd heard nothing. I was beginning to let my pessimistic side get the best of me, resolved to the fact that when I arrived home, things would be just an unemployed as I left them. On Monday though, I got a call saying from Dan saying he was asked in for the second round! Praise the Lord! (The stakes seemed so much higher with this one because he wanted the job so much. At this point, I could care less about the money and all the perks that would come with a working lifestyle for Dan. All I found myself truly caring about was his emotional well-being. A guy can only take so much disappointment and Dan has had more than his fair share in the past year and a half.) So I highly encouraged him to go to a local suit store here to pick up a new shirt and tie. Like any good husband, he followed my advice :)
The second interview went well - he said the guy he talked with reminded him of my dad :) It lasted about 45 minutes and Dan felt good about the way things went. At this point, my mind was racing with "What if" scenarios. What if it was too good to be true? What if he got the job and realized he'd been a little misled, like his last job? What if he doesn't get the job at all and I have to pull myself together to be able to encourage him? What if the waiting for the call back never ends...what if they pick somebody else?
On Thursday morning, I went antique shopping with my mom and sisters in downtown Waxhaw. I saw a beautiful garnet ring and thought to myself, If Dan gets a job today, I'm going to buy that ring. Well, our outings finished, and no phone call. Around mid-afternoon he called and I wondered what a mid-day phone call meant (we usually talk at night when we're apart). He kind of tried to give me hints and danced around the fact a little bit, before I blatantly said, "What are you trying to say?" He told me he'd gotten a phone call with a job offer! My mom drove me back into Waxhaw and I got my ring :) (And Dan got himself a new golf club he wanted…job treats, acquired!)
ANYWAY. The person Dan interviewed with was going to be his supervisor, I guess. He seems really nice and Dan gets along with him well. He was scheduled to meet with him the week I got home to talk about salary, etc. He ended up just talking with him on the phone. Dan called me right after the conversation and wasn’t too happy. We were both caught a little off guard by his pay rate. It was lower than either of us expected and, I’ll admit, we probably jumped to conclusions.
Anyway, he started work on Monday and I was very cautiously hopeful, because I remember how his previous first day of work was. (A disaster.) So I was relieved and thankful beyond belief when he came home with a smile on his face and said, "I had a good day!" Praise the Lord!
Babe...after a long year and a half, I've seen you struggle and I've seen you discouraged. But I've also seen you overcome so much doubt and frustration. I'm so happy for you - you deserve a great job with great people and I'm pretty sure that's what God gave you.
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A quick note about the financial situation....
This morning my devotions were about a heart that's divided. The reading was from Psalm 86, where David asks God to give him an undivided heart. ("Teach me your way, O Lord, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name." Psalm 86:11)
It got me thinking...
I know for a fact that if Dan had received as high a salary as he and I were both hoping, I would have less faith. I wouldn't be tested and I wouldn't be in an uncomfortable place. I would begin to trust money and not the Lord. I would rely on Dan's income for happiness, for things. I know this about myself because it's happened before. I would essentially have a divided heart, serve two masters, and ultimately end up choosing one over the other.
During Dan's unemployment, my faith became so polished and steady. It's gotten me to a point spiritually that, I don't even have to question things or think them through - my automatic response is to trust God in everything - money, timing, relationships...everything. And I hoped, as I saw my faith growing, that when Dan got a job, that faith wouldn't fade away. I knew it was going to be a struggle to rely on God as much now as I did when I had nothing but God and my husband without a job. When Dan told me he got a job, I was psyching myself up to stay spiritually alive and keep that fervor.
The kicker - in hindsight, if Dan had been paid lots of money, that faith would have faded. There's no doubt in my mind. But since we're still going to have questions and concerns financially, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, I'll have no choice but to put all faith, hope and trust in God. (That makes me sound like a weak, selfish person. It's embarrassing, but I am.)
I think that, even though I wasn't conscious of it, God was answering an unspoken prayer of my heart - one of those prayers where the Holy Spirit intercedes. He's granting my request of keeping my faith alive by NOT putting me in a situation where He and I both know that I wouldn't thrive spiritually. Thank you Lord. As Dan and I move forward (slowly and hopefully) with our plans, we trust you to provide for us, so faithfully, as you've proven time and time again that you will.
It's funny how God works, isn't it?...
that you still have a reason to sing?
Cause the pain that you've been feeling,
it can't compare to the joy that's coming.
So hold on, you've gotta wait for the light,
press on and just fight the good fight.
Cause the pain that you've been feeling,
it's just the dark before the morning.
Cause the pain that you've been feeling,
it's just the hurt before the healing."
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