Because He is God: Life should be fragrant, rooftop to the basement

So, last night was a pretty rough night for me. I had an immature meltdown due to the realization that my problems with manipulation have been getting the best of me, making me seem like a spoiled brat of a person. That, coupled with realizing that certain people see me only in that light because of the fact that they see mostly that behavioral problem in me led me to sit on the cold kitchen floor, hugging my knees for about an hour in silence, contemplating how I’m such a poorly behaved individual at times. I snotted all over my Kettering sweatshirt and smeared mascara all over my face before Dan came and took me to the couch. I then proceeded to waste an episode of Modern Family by watching it while I was upset, and not appreciating the humor and irony. All-in-all, not a great night…only brought on by myself. You’re welcome, Heidi. You probably deserve it.

And on that note, Dan has to meet his dad to run some errands in the “big wed caw” this evening after work. That means I drove to work on my own this morning, which was probably for the best because I need some time for my thoughts and re-hash some priorities. I listened to about half of All That You Can’t Leave Behind and it was just what the doctor ordered. As I was sipping my grande nonfat caramel latte, I was listening to the words:

"I never thought you were a fool
but darling look at you
You gotta stand up straight, carry your own weight
these tears are going nowhere baby.
You've got to get yourself together
you've got stuck in a moment and now you can't get out of it
Don't say that later will be better now you're stuck in a moment
and you can't get out of it...
And you are such a fool
to worry like you do
I know it's tough, and you can never get enough
of what you don't really need now...
And if the night runs over
and if the day won't last
And if you way should falter
along this stony pass
it's just a moment
this time will pass."

Yesterday I found out that there’s a possibility (Um, I love the song Possibility by Lykke Li – go listen to it) our treadmill may not be in stock again until FEBRUARY 14^th. What. The. Mess. Last week the customer service lady told me “about a week,” which would be now. Oh well. Dan decided to gamble and hope that it doesn’t come until 2/14 and make a mad dash to put up drywall in the exercise room. (Well, drywall on the bottom half of the walls.) I can’t deny, it would be awesome to have that room completely done. But if it doesn’t get finished before the delivery, no big deal. That’s what he’s doing tonight – getting the drywall and fixin’s.

This afternoon I’m planning a solo trip to David’s Bridal because I wouldn’t put Dan through that male torture. I’m on the hunt for bridesmaid shoes for my sister-in-law’s wedding and I am hell bent on finding some over my lunch break. The window is small, but my will is large.

This week I bought some candle pillars and flameless candles. I snatched the set for the living room from Hobby Lobby, then a different brand/style of flameless candle (from Target) for our bedroom. I am SO enamored with the ones in our bedroom that I’m returning the living room candles to Hobby Lobby and going to Target to get more! They look so ridiculously like a real flame – it’s three separate LED light bulbs that pulse on and off. The ones in the living room flicker, but it looks more like an electronic, spastic flicker than the slow, gentle pulse of the Target candles. I wish I could take a video and post it. (I shouldn’t say that, because I know there’s a way that I could…I’m just too lazy.)

Also, I’m ready for it to STOP snowing and START getting warm up in here!

I've only been back from N.C. for a month and already I'm feeling the need to get away and forget about work, frustrations, etc. Just life in general. I've had the urge to jump on a plane and head to Colorado for a while, now. So instead, here's some pictures from my last trip to the Centennial State, in November 2008. It's been too long...

Sunset @ Rocky Mountain National Park